My neighbors planned to relocate to Florida after he retired. He was
joyful, she unwilling. Finally, he was going and she would join him..They had
been married a long time, and I guess she was not ready to start a new life
alone. He was a handy man. He painted and fixed things and always loved to
give advice. Again not attractive, thin, slightly stooped, thinning hair,
glasses. They bought a house in Florida. They loved their dog. He started to
do odd jobs in the new neighborhood. and met a woman 10 years older then him.
She had been married several times. She lived a few houses from them. I saw
them together by chance at a movie theatre. It was clearly not his wife. He
moved out, and in with his new lady. My friends divorced. I had occasion to
speak to his wife. She told me the dog was confused, he did not know which
house he belonged at. The dog would walk down the block and get disoriented.
Why do people have affairs? Do you leave to find a new life? What do
people look for? What are they running away from? What are they running too?
Maybe the heart knows no reason? It's a mystery...
People are complicated. Some like the thrill of pursuit and being pursued. Some fear aging and seek affirmation of their appeal. Some want adventure and risk. Some want what they want and don't like to pause to consider the feelings of others. Some relationships were mismatched since Day 1, but people outside the relationship only see the civility that exists for show and don't see the dysfunction.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that there are other reasons too. The other woman (or man) might be great at building up the cheater's confidence, quick to praise, or a phenomenon in bed. I suppose those who have their reasons for staying in a relationship may not feel motivated to remain faithful, and the lying that is required to pull this off gives them a sense of mystery and power. I don't know. The whole scene is not my style at all. So I expect that I may not even be close in explaining the behavior.
B.