In hindsight, maternity leave was boot camp and bliss all wrapped up in one.” “The Milk Memos”
I haven’t blogged since 2009. My best friend and I were blogging about weddings – the horrors, the drama, the humor and the cost of being a bridesmaid..1, 3 or 7 times. We hoped to get a book deal out of the gig, but apparently the wedding market is too saturated with books, at least that is what the publishers told our agent. Alas, we gave up. Partly because we ran out of topics, but mostly because people stopped getting married and started having babies. I am now sitting in the same office I blogged from in 2009 as the mother of an almost 3 month old baby boy.
The first month of maternity leave felt like I was studying for the Bar Exam all over again…except there was no end test date. No after exam party to celebrate all my nights of 3 hour sleep, my crying fits and lack of confidence. However, one day that all seemed to change. Of course, sometimes I still have disrupted sleep and some crying fits, but now they are over leaving my baby to go back to work, not because my hormones are attacking my husband’s every word.
I was really sad for camp maternity to end. It reminded me of the last days of sleep away camp, where my friends and I cried and reminisced, knowing we could never relive the moments, we'd only have the memories.
It is my fourth day back at work. I am sad because I won't be able to see my baby all day every day, but part of me knows that is ok and possibly for the best. It is definitely the best in terms of paying for college, but also maybe the best for my sanity and his growth. I never envisioned myself as a stay at home mom. I am a terrible cook, dislike cleaning and can only pretend to enjoy cheery music classes for so long. But the other reason I am sad is because I made wonderful new friends. My neighborhood in Brooklyn is like a summer camp for moms. We’d meet in the park, on my roof, at yoga classes and discuss our babies, our good days, our bad days and our questions and concerns. It was a much needed support system and I can't thank them enough for their love and support.
I wish I could return to camp next summer. At least I can hope for a camp reunion. Jill