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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The Affairs

I worked for a handsome and kind man. He was married and had children. There were many beautiful and willing ladies who would have loved his attention.  He had a " best friend" for many many years. She was an artist, or believed she was. They had that in common. It was a professional relationship-- and more. She was not attractive, nor young. She was bossy and difficult to work with. I did not know this was his paramour for a very long time. I knew and liked his wife. The stories I heard made this all hard to believe. There were clues. She drank from his coffee cup, he held her pocketbook when she left the room. It was all so familiar... What did he see in her? Why her?

My neighbors planned to relocate to Florida after he retired. He was joyful, she unwilling. Finally, he was going and she would join him..They had been married a long time, and I guess she was not ready to start a new life alone. He was a handy man. He painted and fixed things and always loved to give advice. Again not attractive, thin, slightly stooped, thinning hair, glasses. They bought a house in Florida. They loved their dog. He started to do odd jobs in the new neighborhood. and met a woman 10 years older then him. She had been married several times. She lived a few houses from them. I saw them together by chance at a movie theatre. It was clearly not his wife. He moved out, and in with  his new lady. My friends divorced. I had occasion to speak to his wife. She told me the dog was confused, he did not know which house he belonged at.  The dog would walk down the block and get disoriented.

Why do people have affairs? Do you leave to find a new life? What do people look for? What are they running away from? What are they running too? Maybe the heart knows no reason? It's a mystery...

Dr Phil, calling Dr. Phil...

1 comment:

  1. People are complicated. Some like the thrill of pursuit and being pursued. Some fear aging and seek affirmation of their appeal. Some want adventure and risk. Some want what they want and don't like to pause to consider the feelings of others. Some relationships were mismatched since Day 1, but people outside the relationship only see the civility that exists for show and don't see the dysfunction.

    I'm sure that there are other reasons too. The other woman (or man) might be great at building up the cheater's confidence, quick to praise, or a phenomenon in bed. I suppose those who have their reasons for staying in a relationship may not feel motivated to remain faithful, and the lying that is required to pull this off gives them a sense of mystery and power. I don't know. The whole scene is not my style at all. So I expect that I may not even be close in explaining the behavior.