I am pacing. I am a pacer, the bigger the room the better. I am waiting for a phone call after the doctor's visit. It's family and it's personal and it counts. I do breathing exercises. Dr. Oz taught me how, you take a breath hold it and let it release. It works great when I am not nervous or upset. Not so well when I need it to work. Control your breathing, slow your heart rate.
I'll do exercises, stretches, lunges light weights. My body obeys my mind is elsewhere, my mind is on the phone that does not ring. I hope I do not sprain anything. Maybe this is not a good idea. Old movies, I will watch something engaging , something light. My favorite old musicals, or Star trek, or Lord of the Rings, comfort movies. Can I find Moonstruck, Cher will understand. GiGi Paris, 1900., Gypsy, and mamma Rose. I stare at the screen. I have my own worries, no patience for the movies today.
When is the call coming? Where is the news? Hot herbal tea, with honey that is what I need. It tastes bitter, not what I want. My friends have suggested I take up drinking. I agree- but not today, maybe not ever. So I wait, I pray a little. I ask for help to be a more patient person, a better person, less emotional, more logical. Help me , please make everything right. Fear, prayer, tears... a perfect fit. Stress will kill you, ask any mother.